Transforming Attachment Patterns with Coaching
By Barbara Clark, MS, Brainspotting Certified, Founder of Self-Energy Coaching
We are wired for connection. From our earliest days, our nervous systems begin shaping around how safe, seen, and soothed we feel in relationships. These early experiences don’t just influence our childhood—they often echo into adulthood, affecting how we connect, love, trust, and respond to stress.
At Self-Energy Coaching, we help you explore these attachment patterns not as flaws, but as protective strategies that once kept you safe. Through trauma-informed life coaching, IFS, and Brainspotting, we guide you gently back to your Self—so you can build healthier relationships, both inside and out.
What Is Attachment—and Why Does It Matter?
Attachment theory is a powerful lens through which we understand how we relate to others and to ourselves. It describes the emotional bonds we form with caregivers in early life, and how those bonds influence our adult behaviors in relationships, parenting, and even at work.
The four main attachment styles are:
Secure: Able to trust, express needs, and connect with ease
Anxious: Preoccupied with closeness, fears abandonment
Avoidant: Fears vulnerability, often withdraws or shuts down
Disorganized: A mix of both anxious and avoidant, often rooted in trauma
Understanding your attachment style can unlock the door to more meaningful change. With the right support, you can shift patterns that once felt hardwired.
Coaching Through an Attachment Lens
In our work together, attachment isn't just a theory—it’s a map. We use it to gently explore the origins of your emotional reactions, relational triggers, and inner protectors. You’re not broken. You’ve just been adaptive.
As an Internal Family Systems (IFS)-informed coach, I help you connect with the parts of you shaped by early relationships—those that learned to people-please, shut down, stay small, or stay busy to stay safe.
With Brainspotting for trauma recovery, we also help your nervous system process stored emotional experiences without re-traumatization. This body-based approach helps restore safety from the inside out.
Who This Work Is For
This attachment-focused coaching is especially powerful for:
Adults struggling with trust, boundaries, or emotional regulation
Military spouses navigating isolation, distance, or reintegration
Parents trying to break cycles of attachment trauma
Those healing from perinatal loss, birth trauma, or postpartum anxiety
Individuals in patterns of overgiving, avoidance, or codependency
Whether you identify as anxious, avoidant, or somewhere in between—this work isn’t about labeling. It’s about liberating.
Healing Attachment Is Possible
It’s a myth that attachment is fixed forever. Through trauma-informed coaching, you can develop earned secure attachment—a way of relating to yourself and others that feels safe, steady, and spacious.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
In our Rooted in Attachment coaching and workbook series, we integrate somatic awareness, IFS, and relational healing to help you shift from survival to self-leadership. This series is coming soon.
Let’s Rewire Your Relationship to Connection
If you're ready to feel more grounded in your relationships, more confident in your boundaries, and more regulated in your body, this work is for you.
Attachment healing doesn’t start with fixing relationships—it starts with restoring the one you have with yourself.
Book a free discovery call or learn more about our upcoming Rooted in Attachment course at www.self-energycoaching.com.
Let’s rewrite your story of connection—together.